Part of the Plans: Extras from Best Laid Plans
by La.Tua.Cantante.83
Summary: Part of the "Plans" is a series of Extras and Outtakes for my chapter fic "Best Laid Plans." It is rated the same as BLP and has the same character focus, though it may not reach M rating, and will be from different POV's. I suggest reading BLP first.
1. Chapter 14 Compliment: Orbital

**A/N: **This series takes place as part of my chapter fic, **Best Laid Plans**, as outtakes and extras for that. _Orbital_ is the first of them, and is a compliment to Chapter 14: Moving Out. If you have not read that chapter of Best Laid Plans, I highly suggest waiting. It will be much better, and make a whole lot more sense. I plan to post more in the future, so make sure to add it to your updates if you want to find out when they are done. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**Orbital **

I parked the car at the front of the house and slid out, adjusting my outfit. The small house was still, save for the hurried footsteps that were coming from the living room. Back and forth they went at a pace that was slightly abnormal. I smiled to myself as the image of an irate and worried Charlie flitted back into my head. He was pacing around the room, his mood flip-flopping between being so angry he'd turn a bright, beet red and so worried that he'd nearly have a panic attack.

Bella was so misguided. I wish I had been prepared enough to stop her before this got really bad. She'd been so set on this stupid plan of hers, though, that she failed to listen to reason. Even from _me_. Now that we were this far in however, it had to play out naturally. I'd done my best to convince Edward of that. It was the only way that it would work out.

I skipped up the steps, preparing myself for the breakdown that was Charlie Swan. He wasn't an overly emotional father, but I knew his concern for Bella was washing over him. He was distraught. They'd never fought, not really, even when she had gone to Volterra to save Edward. He'd been upset, and she'd even threatened to move out then if he hadn't accepted Edward back in her life, but it waned quickly into acceptance and he never actually thought she'd do it. Now that she made good on the threat, he was devastated. And angry. And _devastated_.

I rapped lightly on the door frame, watching the vision of our conversation play out in my head. At least I knew he'd be receptive. Bella was lucky I already knew how this would go, or I wouldn't even be there. Edward had been right about one thing: our being involved wasn't fair to Charlie. He was only acting out of love and concern for her.

He came to the door and threw it open, his eyes darting from side to side. He must have suspected Bella with the way his expression drooped when he saw me, but she'd never knock, and I knew full well that she wasn't coming home anytime soon. He should have known that too, and actually, he probably did.

"Hi, Charlie," I said, sympathetic to his forlorn expression. He stepped aside, letting me by him.

"Alice," he said in greeting. I could hear the mixture of emotions in his voice at my presence. He was sad. He was outraged. Charlie had no hard feeling toward me personally, but despised the fact that I was there. I meant only one thing: that Bella was with my brother, and _that_, he hated.

"How are you?" I asked. He frowned a little and huffed, the two actions seemingly unconnected. I smiled sadly at him. I hated to be in the middle, but Bella needed me. Then he shrugged and didn't answer me, so I continued. "I'm here to get some things for Bella."

He motioned up the stairs for me to go ahead. At human speed I went up to the second floor into Bella's room. I smiled as I opened the door and was met with the scent that was just so her. The room was neat and tidy, only a few things lying haphazardly out of their place. She had her laundry done and folded on the bed, ready to be put away. I went over to the clothes and quickly categorized what she had there, grabbing a few pairs of her jeans and some of the nicer shirts she actually owned, three of which I bought for her. I pushed aside the worn sweatpants and t-shirts she insisted on wearing, keeping as much distance from them as I could. It was good that bad fashion couldn't rub off on someone. Good fashion, however? I was hoping I'd at least be able to dress her up a little now that she was living at the house. Maybe a fashion show, or shopping in my closet! I got excited at the idea just as a vision of her walking around uncomfortably in a pair of _gorgeous_ Louis Vuitton ankle boots. I smirked a little at the image, as she shot me a nasty look.

Shaking out of my vision, I went back to the task at hand. Jeans, check. Tops, check. I gathered a few pairs of socks and as many decent pairs of panties I could find. I tried as hard as I could to put the old pair of granny panties in the duffle bag I'd set out, but my hand would just not allow it. I didn't care what she'd say. It was a good thing I planned ahead and purchased several new pairs of pajamas, and some lovely under things for her. There was no way I was going to let her sleep in the house—down the hall from my brother—wearing the poor excuse of sleepwear that she deemed appropriate. She had to accept it. It was all part of the deal when she decided to move in by us. She was my best friend, and I loved her, but she had to take all of it if she was set on being with Edward, and part of that was dealing with me. There was no way my sister was going to dress like a hobo.

Thoroughly sure that I had gleaned all that I could from her pitiful excuse of a wardrobe, I headed across the hall and got a few of her other necessities, placing them in her toiletries bag. Most of it she really wouldn't need, since I'd already known she'd come, and stocked up the bathroom attached to her suite, but I wanted her to be comfortable at least a little bit. Clothes first, make-up and accessories later. Baby steps.

I headed down the stairs to find Charlie waiting patiently in the kitchen, just like I knew he would be. He stood against the counter, his eyes drawn to the floor. I walked over to him.

"All done," I announced. The poor man looked pained at this. He glanced at the duffle on my shoulder and sighed deeply. It was as if I was taking more of her. Her things leaving were just another sure sign that she had, in fact, moved out of his house. Then his face twisted with a new realization, one that I thought he'd already made with my presence there. Perhaps it hadn't really hit him until that moment.

"She's with_ him_, isn't she? She ran to _him_." The venom in his voice rivaled ours at that moment. I reached over and put a light hand on his arm.

"She's safe." I knew that this was what truly mattered to him. But it didn't soften him much.

"I'm surprised Carlisle would allow this. He doesn't seem like the kind of man that would do something like this." I knew that he was referring to the fact that he'd let Bella move in without question. I was sure Charlie felt a little betrayed at the fact that Carlisle had chosen to take her side rather than hauling her back to him. But Carlisle didn't look at Bella like a sullen teenager trying to fight with her father. He saw Bella as a grown woman who had chosen the man that she wanted, and run to him in her time of need. He was a little too idealistic in that respect, because truthfully, it was a mixture of both Bellas. She was a sullen teenager that wanted the safety of the man that she loved.

What was more, neither Esme nor Carlisle could turn her away, because they _loved her._ They had a need to protect her as much as Edward did, and they couldn't send her packing when she obviously needed them. But Charlie was right. As a father, Carlisle should call, just to let him know she was okay. I made a mental note to pass that along when I got home.

"He wouldn't turn her away. Neither would Esme. None of us would. She needed somewhere to go, Charlie, and it may seem like this doesn't affect her, but it really does. More that you know."

He "hmphed" and crossed his arms. "Well, if she wasn't so damn stubborn, we could have talked it out."

"You were willing to talk to her about it?" I asked incredulously. I knew the details of their fight. I'd tried my hardest to keep it from Edward, because it wouldn't have helped the situation he and Bella were in, but I'd seen the whole thing, right down to the last door slam.

"Well, she could have gone to Jake's at least. They'd have taken her in too."

"That's really what you'd want? I'm not trying to get in the middle or start arguments, but did you even know why she was so angry in the first place? Did you know what he said to her? And didn't you tell her she'd have to stay away from _both_ of them?" I put my hands on my hips and challenged him.

He looked up at me, and could tell that I was not letting him off that easy. I didn't think he was _wrong_ about their fight, as much as he was…misinformed. Such was the case for _all_ the men in Bella's life at the moment. He fumbled a little with my set expression.

"Listen, Alice. I think you're wonderful, and I'm glad that Bella has you as her friend. And I'm glad that your family is so good to her," he said, hesitating. Then he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "But he's… well, I just don't like it. I don't understand it."

I softened, and relaxed next to him.

"What don't you understand?"

"You should have _seen_ her, Alice. In all my years, I've never seen anything like the shell that she became when you guys left. It was like he took her _soul_ with him. And I know that sounds cheesy or fuddy-duddy, or something like that, but I don't know any other way to describe it. She was here in body, but it was like she was empty. It scares me Alice."

I smiled at his admission and raised my eyebrows at him. He'd just singlehandedly answered all his own questions. That was as good a description as anyone could have given for what happened, and why she was with him now. What he didn't know, was that it did the _exact_ same thing to Edward.

"I don't get it," He continued. "It's like, no matter what he does, she can't stay away from him."

I shook my head.

'Charlie, she _can't."_ He furrowed his brow and looked at me like I was speaking another language. He was male, and he was the single father of a teenage girl, thus rendering him automatically almost clueless. But he was must more astute than he let on. He already knew that they were connected in ways that the average father would never understand. Edward _had_ indeed taken Bella's soul with him when we'd left…and he'd left his with her. I sighed.

"Edward and Bella are like planets in orbit with one another. Their paths are set together, and their gravity pulls them that way, always and forever circling each other. There's no helping it. Edward wasn't always on that particular orbit, but when he met Bella, he was altered. Charlie, I know that sounds frightening and ridiculous, but I promise you, he'd rather _die _than hurt her—he loves her with his very existence and nothing can change him again that would change _that._ You don't think he's good for her, but I_ promise _you'll never find anyone that loves her more than he does. Even Jacob Black can't love Bella the way Edward does. Jacob might love someone else that way someday, but he doesn't now. Not Bella. Not _ever_."

He stared at me for a long time, tears welling up in his eyes. It probably wouldn't help them, but I wanted him to know that Edward loved Bella more than anything. As irritating as my brother could be with his stubborn character and his angst, he was the best thing for her. They had flaws, no doubt, but they needed each other. They were _made for_ each other.

"How can I just let her go, Alice?" he whispered.

"Just because she's with him doesn't mean she's not with you too. You are the two most important people in her life. She loves you _both_."

He didn't smile fully, but the sides of his lips turned up ever so slightly, and his eyes softened. I smiled, putting my hands on my hips again.

"Would you believe it if I told you that Edward advised her not to stay? To come back home and make up with you?"

His eyes shot up to meet mine and he looked utterly surprised.

"No," he said, completely unconvinced. He looked a little confused. I nodded.

"It's true. He thought that it would hurt both of you to fight with each other. He doesn't want that."

He sighed, running his hands through his hair. He seemed to be wrestling with something, and I waited. Finally, he spoke.

"Alice? Will you tell her to call me?" I smiled widely, and put my hand back in the crook of his crossed arms, squeezing slightly.

"Of course," I said. "Though she is _Bella_, and even I can't make her do something she's hell bent on not doing."

We both chuckled at that and I turned to leave. He walked me to the door, watching me as I got in my car. I waved goodbye to him, pleased that I'd be able to tell Bella that Charlie was waiting patiently for her phone call. And then I saw it. In my head, my phone rang. A second later, I felt the familiar buzzing in my pocket. I groaned.

"Yes, Edward," I said, not even needing him to speak. "I'll follow them."

He thanked me and told me all the things I already knew: 'don't let her see you,' 'stay far away that he can't catch the scent too well,' and 'call me if anything should happen.' As if I'd ever let anything happen to her!

"Oh, god," I sighed as I hung up the phone. "I hate walking the dog."


	2. Ch 15: Leaving a Piece of Me with You

**A/N: **This series takes place as part of my chapter fic, **Best Laid Plans**, as outtakes and extras for that. _Leaving a Piece of Me with You _is the second of them, and is a compliment to **Chapter 15: Advancing**. If you have not read that chapter of Best Laid Plans, I highly suggest you do that first. If you don't, it will COMPLETELY ruin the Best Laid Plans plot for you. This particular chapter sheds light onto the chapter as to why Edward stopped her and what was going on in his head at that time.

I will have more in the future, so make sure to add it to your updates if you want to find out when they are done. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**Leaving a Piece of Me with You**

She had something to tell me. I noticed her hesitation when she spoke those words, telling me that she had some sort of confession. Her eyes welled ever so slightly with the words that threatened to spill out of her lips, and her chest heaved with the emotion behind in. I saw the look in her eyes that feared for me, and the way that her tiny hands tensed on my cheek as she gently stoked it. She was trying to soften the blow. She was trying to reassure me, tell me that I still held a part of her heart, and this was the hardest decision she'd ever had to make. She'd been dragged and defeated, and willed it not to be like this. And I _couldn't_ hear it.

I had stopped her, gently but forcefully telling her 'no.' Forever stubborn, she pushed me, trying to let go of everything that she'd been holding on to all these weeks and selfishly, I refused her, knowing that I couldn't hear her hesitant confessions. It would break me to hear the words coming out of her lips, because then it would be more than just the agonizing nightmare that I'd been living over the summer. It would be _real_, and I'd have lost all of her. My very reason for my existence would be gone, like the whispering haze of the mist over the moors.

I had told her that she had me, and she did. She would never leave my heart no matter what she confessed to me. I would hold her there for the rest of eternity, and there would never be any room for anyone else. This was the way it was when you were a vampire. She'd already altered me to a point where I could never return from. She would always have me, but I had made a mistake that had cost me. I had given her the opportunity to love another, and though my heart would not change, could not grow to include anyone besides her, her heart was warm and beating and allowed for more. I had given her reason to love Jacob Black when I walked out on her, and now it was him that possessed her heart. She held mine, and he held hers.

The analytical part of my brain recognized the practicality of it, the natural order of things. Jacob, despite the fact that he was a shapeshifter, could offer her all the things that her biology required. He could protect her and feed her and create offspring with her. He would be like her, and the same blood that ran through her veins could run through is. He could give her love and life, and they could be together in the ways that her body had been designed to be with a man. He could, but the thought of it was enough to send me into a catatonic state and cripple me.

I violently fought with that side of my brain, tore and ripped at it as I imagined her in his arms, loving him, whispering his name against his neck as he held her. It was too much at the thought of her swollen and warm all over, with his child growing in her womb. I wanted to claw my eyes out at my imagination of her glowing and happy as his life force hummed in her. My heart screamed at the very idea of him loving her in the way that I never could, of giving her the things that I couldn't. It brought the chaos that I felt to the forefront every time I imagined it, and I willed myself just a little more sanity before my world fell apart.

So I told her 'no.'

I'd been unrecognizable these last months. I was beyond restless, cooped up in my self-imposed prison. I avoided her as much as I could, knowing that where she was, _he_ might likely be. I couldn't listen to his thoughts of her, the way he wanted her to be with him. It was incessant, the way that he craved her constantly, and I found it nearly unbearable. I had always known that men found Bella beautiful, but she'd never understood that. Even the way Jacob lusted after her seemed to be lost on her. She had no idea what he wanted from her, and every moment I spent in her presence, knowing what I knew, broke me a little more.

I'd been a wreck. My family had every right to consider me a nuisance at this point. I had been moping around since I really realized that she was so lost, that night that I listened to him breathing inside her home steadily as he slept on her couch. They'd been out late, out on one of their 'dates' and his dreams echoed the evening that he'd had with her. It nearly crushed me to listen to him whisper her name as she lay above in her own room. After that night, I knew that there was a distinct possibility that I would lose her. My family took the brunt of my distress.

Esme and Carlisle were supportive and reassuring, constantly telling me that I was worrying over nothing, that her heart would eventually make the right decision. Their words should have been comforting, but I couldn't help but feel dismayed that there was a possibility that they were very right: perhaps her heart _would_ make the "_right" _decision, the one that it was always meant to make. Perhaps that decision was not _me_.

Emmett and Jasper gave me a wide berth, allowing me to just be. Emmett's carefree attitude echoed my parent's sentiments, without the underlying worry for me. He let things roll off his back, and had no doubt in his mind that Bella belonged with us. That alone made it so that he wasn't concerned in the slightest. Jasper, on the other hand, avoided me because my rolling emotions threw him off to the point where he could barely be in the same room as me without wanting to scream. The fact that he often did in his head was not lost on me, and I avoided him as much as he avoided me. I felt like a specter in their presence lately.

Rose's thoughts were irritated most of the time, seeing what Bella's actions were doing to me. She was rude and belligerent, but loyal to me to a fault. She tried to edit her thoughts as best as she could as to avoid hurting me anymore, but I could feel the seething hate coming through her carefully planned thoughts. All directed towards Bella. I avoided her too, because as much as I felt like everything was falling apart at the seams, I could not stop loving Bella. _My Bella_. No. Not mine… _Jacob Black's_ Bella. My mind blackened, and I emptied completely at that thought.

Then there was Alice. Of all my family, she was the most supportive, the most positive, and the only one who would not wince when I spat obscenities or fell into the abyss that was becoming my soul. She allowed me to wallow without trying to comfort me. She sat beside me without hating Bella—she loved her, in fact. And she allowed me to welcome the pain that threatened to cloud me over. But I wished her away more than any of the others. She was the hardest for me to allow, because all the while, she would sing Italian opera in her head, or translate Shakespeare's complete works into Latin, or recite _The Iliad_ backwards, all to keep me out of her visions and thoughts. And it _angered_ me, because despite the fact that she told me that Bella loved me and wanted me, she _still _tried to keep me out. Which meant that she was _lying_. She was inadvertently the messenger of the news that brought my own personal hell, her lips saying one thing and her mind another.

Alice assured me, over and over that I needed to be patient. She tried to tell me that everything would work out, and she was so sure of it, that it was hard to ignore her persistence. Yet she still was keeping something from me. If it was all going to work out, what could she possibly have to keep from me?

This was what I'd wanted for Bella when I'd left her. I wanted her to have the opportunity for the life she _should_ have had. Without me. But staring it in the face, actually seeing it transpire, was too much for me. I felt its crushing weight on my chest every time I thought of it. I didn't need oxygen. I needed Bella.

Like always, I didn't understand her, and I was now more confused than before. I was so sure that she had wanted Jacob, and that she just didn't know how to tell me. But then we dated. The night that I took her to the beach, it had been my plan to go with her, love her, and let her go. I had never meant to stay that night. I had never meant to kiss her or to stay beside her as she slept, or listen to her whisper my name as she dreamed of me. But I had, and it gave me hope. I'd left her that morning with the one thing that I had promised that I wouldn't allow myself: the hope that all those weeks she spent with Jacob Black were something besides love, something besides her choosing him over me.

And then she'd run to me. She'd left her father and come to _me_. The hope was even more prominent, then. As I held her, she molded into me as if that was where she was meant to be. At night, she begged me to stay. She clung to me and beckoned my love. She'd never allowed herself to love him back in my presence, never given into his advances when she was near me. She defended me. Today, she'd told me that she wanted to be in _my_ room, in _my_ bed at night, surrounded by my scent. And all of it should have been a comfort, but it wasn't.

Because I saw the hesitation in her eyes. I heard her voice quiver as she spoke of "us." I listened to her heart rate pick up at the lingering unspoken words between us. I loved her, and I would put on a brave front for her. I could give her that, because her agony only multiplied my own. I didn't understand, and I could not allow myself to give in to the hope. Because there was _something_ very big hanging between us. And that is why I _believed _ that she didn't want me. She wanted him, but she didn't want to hurt me. I stopped her confession because I was afraid to hear the words leave her lips.

_That_, and Jacob had told me as much.

That morning, as Bella was playing dress-up with Alice, Jacob had come to find me. Jasper and Emmett were forcing me to hunt, dragging me out to get some air from Bella's glorious bouquet, though I could tell how difficult it was for Jasper to be in my presence. This was their peace offering. Just as we were emerging from the tree line, he and Seth, both in their wolf forms, approached us.

Emmett coiled in anticipation. The day before, when Bella had moved in, tensions were high. My brothers flanked me, ready to protect me from whatever Jacob intended, but I saw his thoughts. He was careful and angry still, but he had no intentions of fighting with me.

I called them down, allowing Jacob his moment as he darted off towards the woods to phase out of his wolf form. He and Seth returned moments later.

"Jacob," I began in greeting, wary of his temperament. He smiled at my hesitation, a hateful leer marring his youthful face. I waited for him to respond. Seth stood at his side reluctantly. It was clear from his thoughts that he did not know what his friend and pack-mate intended. He worried for me and for Jacob, and for the alliance that we had once shared. Seth feared for the peace of our fellowship.

"Leech," Jacob returned easily in greeting.

Emmett growled next to me and I held up my hand to quiet him. I could accept that he was like this. It was part of his volatile nature, part of his youth. That, and he hated me for the fact that Bella couldn't.

"You wanted to talk to me. I'm here, and I'll listen to what you have to say." He watched me warily for a moment, trying to gauge if I would fight without provocation. I stood my ground, and he softened.

"She loves me." His tone was calm now, if not a little sad. He saw what I saw: that Bella suffered from all this. I saw her face flash in his mind all the times they were together. Her pain washed over her eyes briefly as she tried to deal with it. The images made me wince.

"I'm aware," I returned curtly, more for my own self-pity than anything. Jasper sent a wave of calm our way, and Jacob rolled his eyes. That was the only response he made to Jasper's efforts, however, and continued slowly.

"I don't think you even understand what is going on." He looked at me carefully, trying to read my face. _She's hiding something from us._

"You're right." I said to him, touching on both his statements, both spoken and not. "I make no claims to ever understand Bella. It would all be in vain to do so."

He sighed, letting his shoulders slump from the effort that he was putting out.

"I think I know what's going on though," He said. I flinched at his thoughts. _She doesn't want to hurt you._

I didn't say anything, as I let this knowledge that he possessed wash over me. He didn't give examples of how he knew this, but I agreed, nonetheless. It was what I suspected all along. He was only justifying all those times I had expected to hear her whispered goodbyes. He sighed and continued as I staggered in my suffering.

"Listen. I know she came to you, and that I really hurt her yesterday," he said. I instantly grizzled at the reminder of how upset she'd been. Jasper sent me another relaxing wave. Jacob cleared his throat. "I regret what I said to her. But I know what she really wants."

A memory flashed through his mind: _His eyes focused on the image of Bella in the car windows' reflection. She was driving his car and staring straight ahead. Her eyes were focused on the road, the worried lines prominent between her eyebrows. She gripped the steering wheel tightly. She quickly glanced to her right, sadness and anxiety washing over her. She was distraught. Jacob had been ill from eating greasy carnival food and riding on amusement rides, and she was taking him home. _

From the memory I recognized it as the night that he had stayed over at her house, the night that I saw the questions in her eyes as I watched from the overgrowth.

"_Bells?" Jacob whispered to her in the dark._

"_Yes?" she answered him, still fearing for his stomach. In his memory, he turned away from the window and looked at her straight on._

I took a quick intake of breath as I saw her. Even in Jacob's imperfect memory, she was perfect.

"_When are you going to let him go?" he whispered. She furrowed her brow, confusion and angst and unspoken apologies evident in her eyes. She staggered, unsure of how to answer his forward question. She hesitated, knowing he was waiting. She wanted to answer him, she wanted to reassure him._

The look there conveyed everything that he wanted me to know. She was being held back by _me_. I was holding Bella back from the answer he wanted to hear, and the one _she_ wanted to give.

"She loves me," he whispered again as his memory dissipated. I looked up at him and I saw it. He was _right_. She _loved_ him. And I was the reason that she was not with him. I didn't need any more of Jacob Blacks' memories to see that. She loved him, and didn't know how to tell me that. "She doesn't want to hurt you. She's afraid to hurt you. She's told me as much, that she can't 'do this' to you. I just hope that when the time comes, you'll let her do what she has to do."

He'd left us then, running back into the trees as the world around me fell to pieces. I couldn't move, I couldn't think. Jacob Black knew that Bella loved him, that she was hesitant to hurt me, and that soon, I would know everything he did. I could not bear to hear the words leave her lips. So when she tried to tell me, my heart would not let her continue.

I was replaying the memory of our encounter earlier that day in my mind, for what was likely the thousandth time, when Alice herself came in and sat beside me lightly.

"I'm not in the mood to hear da Vinci's journal entries translated into ancient Gaelic today, Alice," I spat dryly. She rolled her eyes and plopped down next to me.

"Edward, must you be so pessimistic _all_ the time?"

I turned to her, annoyed that she was bothering my brooding. Bella was downstairs with Esme, preparing her dinner, and I knew that that would take her some time. I was taking the opportunity to be alone for awhile, giving myself time to compose myself again for her sake. I was a very good liar. I had to be. I didn't want Bella to understand how badly all of this hurt me.

"What do you want, Alice?" I sighed, trying to reign in my wild emotions.

"I wanted to ask you why you stopped her." Her voice was calm and light, as if she was asking me about the weather. I looked at her incredulously. She ignored my gaping expression and continued. "I _told _you that you should let her tell you."

She _had_ told me. Weeks ago, she said in her cryptic way that while she could not give me any specifics, I should let Bella tell me whatever it was that she needed to tell me. She'd said that she didn't know when it would happen, but when it did, I should let it happen. If it wasn't for the fact that she'd been trying so hard to keep me out, I'd have complied, but I couldn't now. The only thing I could recognize now was self preservation, and I wouldn't survive if Bella said she didn't love me. How had _she _survived when I had told her that lie? Now I knew. Perhaps Jacob had healed her more than what I originally thought.

"You didn't listen," she said, shaking me out of the memory. "You need to let it happen, Edward."

She placed her hand gently on my arm and squeezed lightly. The small gesture was enough that a tiny, involuntary cry left my lips and reverberated against the walls of the room.

"Please, Edward. Just let her. I'd save you all this agony if I could, but I can't. I just can't, but you just _need_ to let her tell you what it is that I'm trying to keep from you. I promise, it's _not_ what you think."

I didn't say anything as I tried to process her words. She'd said as much to me before. She'd told me that it was not the end of my world, but I didn't understand anything anymore. I trusted my sister, but I couldn't deny the way Bella looked at me, as if I was already lost to her. She was afraid.

Alice rose, smoothing her outfit. She walked over to the door. Just before she reached it she turned, giving me a forlorn look.

"Give it to her, Edward. Then listen to what she has to say." I saw the small token that she was talking about flit through her brain, my wedding gift to Bella. It was tucked away now, beside her ring in my bedside table. I kept it there, safely hidden, unsure of the future. The tiny trinket held more meaning for me than she could ever know. It was not really of much value, but it encompassed everything that I held dear: the fact that her wearing it would make her an official part of my family. I mourned that she'd now likely never wear it.

"_Give it to her_. She's still a Cullen."

"What if she won't take it?" I whispered. I didn't know what I'd do if that was the way she decided to tell me of her love for someone else. "I don't want to coerce her, Alice."

"She'll take it. And she'll love it. And she'll love you all the more for it. Now go. Check on her and Esme."

I don't know what caused me to listen to Alice, when I was so sure that she was keeping the most important things from me, but as I went to go see how Bella was fairing in the kitchen with Esme, I overheard their conversation. As much as it hurt and irritated me to know that Esme told her about my belief that she was my soulmate, she was right. Everyone—with the exception of Rose—already thought of Bella as a member of the family. I did, certainly.

I made up my mind that, though I couldn't bear to hear her confessions yet, I wanted her to know that she would always have my heart. I wanted to relieve some of the pressure that was constant in her, the pain and fear of hurting me that always plagued her. I wanted her to know that even if she belonged to him, she could _always_ count on me. Even if I could not have her, she'd always have _me_. I would give it to her while I still had the chance, because nothing could ever diminish what I felt for her.

I went up the stairs and shifted through the contents of the side table, pushing the ring to the very back before I could look at it. My heart constricted at the very knowledge of its existence, and the fact that it was not on Bella's finger. I pulled out the small black pouch that held her pendent, the one that was meant to adorn her charm bracelet. I gently opened the pouch and let it slip into my palm. Meticulously, I fingered the tiny filigree and carefully detailed crest, a physical reminder of my families bond. Then I flipped it over.

In detail so small that only a vampire could read it, on the back of the crest, was etched the only truth I had left to hold on to: _"To my heart, my life, my very soul. My only reason for living. I will always belong to you, my Bella."_

If she'd have nothing more of me, she'd always have this. A little piece of me.

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**End Notes:** Keep a lookout for more, and make sure you check out Best Laid Plans. I'll have a FANTASTIC update in the form of epic chapter 17 sometime next week! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 16 Compliment: 0 to 60

**A/N: **This series takes place as part of my chapter fic, **Best Laid Plans**, as outtakes and extras for that. _0 to 60 _is the third of them, and is a compliment to **Chapter 16: Falling**. If you have not read that chapter of Best Laid Plans, I highly suggest you do that first. If you don't, it will COMPLETELY ruin the Best Laid Plans plot for you. This particular chapter is Edward's version of their fight.

Make sure to add it to your updates if you want to find out when the next are done. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**0 to 60**

I wanted to kill Jacob Black. I wanted to rip his throat out, and grin wickedly over his twitching body as I watched him suffer. I wanted him to fall to his knees before me for all the things he'd taken from me and all the things that he had yet to take from me. I wanted it, for the things he said to me, for his arrogant attitude about the _one_ thing in the world that meant anything to me, and for the way he thought about my Bella. The way he thought about her as his and how he constantly wanted to claim her with his body.

But I couldn't, and it was more than the fact that I couldn't relinquish control to the monster in me, because that would be a disgrace to my family that had worked so hard to get us where we were today. I couldn't do that to _Bella_, because to kill him would kill her.

The sad fact remained that while I may have loved her with my very existence, she wasn't mine anymore. I'd given that up the moment I walked out of her life, and now she belonged to him.

He stood there before me, a cocky look on his face as he painfully reminded me of all the things I'd ever done to put her in danger, to push her into his arms: I'd exposed her to the vampire world; I'd allowed her to become a game for the sick and twisted pleasure of James; I'd left her, allowing her to be toyed with by Victoria; and when I'd thought I lost her, I'd unintentionally brought her to hell and back, and exposed her again to the most lecherous and powerful coven known to man—they could have literally destroyed us all. _I'd_ done all that, not Jacob Black, and that is why I was driving down the 101 at over a hundred miles an hour, trying to understand why I was so angry. Because I really had no _right _to be.

I listened to his thoughts as we spat between us, and Bella watched, helpless and unaware. The moment he walked in he was defensive of my position between her legs, and the way that her thumbs gently caressed my cheek. Without her knowing, he warned me to step away from what was rightfully his, and while I knew that he was right, something in me wanted to challenge him. I had not forced Bella's hand. Perhaps he was wrong. I rose to the occasion to put the worthless mutt in his place, but in the process, he'd managed to wreck me.

We fought, but it wasn't until he reminded me of their kiss that I truly lost my footing. He remembered with remarkably staggering clarity the was that she felt in his arms, tiny and desperate, and the way that she clung to him in the cold air, his body offering her the relief from the frigid morning that I could not. He pictured her, eyes wild with her attempts to stop him from sacrificing himself at the hands of the newborns, and the way that she acquiesced to his deceit, sighing and accepting it. And then he remembered her lips and her hands and the way that she clutched at him, melting into him and embracing the moment.

It was like a straight and swift jab to my gut, the way that he kissed her with fervor that I could only dream of. He kissed her in a way I could not. And then, he reminded me of one of the worst truths of all: My love for her proved to be the greatest danger. I could not give myself to her fully, body and soul, because if I ever loved her the way I wanted to—the way that I wanted to worship her body with mine—I could very well lose her entirely. I could kill her. He would not.

For this fact alone, I could not kill him. I could not ignore that I was the worst thing for her.

Because I had no right to _want_ to kill him, for the man that I had been to her. And for the fact that I could not be the man that she needed.

She'd deny it, if asked. She'd absolved me of my previous sins the moment she saw me again, as she rushed to me to save my life, but the fact of the matter remained that in the end, it didn't matter. She'd made her decision, though even I didn't know if she was consciously aware of it.

I didn't understand any of it. These last few months had left me so bewildered. She'd asked for time and I'd given it to her. But then she acted like she loved me, and I'd been given hope—hope that was sure to be my downfall. She'd come to me and I'd taken her in, because I couldn't deny her anything, even though it wasn't good for me. I was confused of course, but I allowed her to love me even though now I was wrecked by her love. My love was so strong for her that I'd will my own defeat.

After Jacob and I fought, I'd retreated at the not-so-subtle reminder by him at all my shortcomings as far as Bella was concerned, and of course she followed me, as I knew she would. She tried to calm my doubts, but the things that I'd done to her were resonating in my mind.

I felt her moving behind me up the staircase. I needed to put distance between us. Her very presence was like a weight in my chest, knowing that there was so much I could not give her.

I felt her lips kiss my shoulder blade, and it burned with such intensity that I winced. _How was it that she could hurt me and heal me all at the same time? _She tried to convince me that Jacob was wrong—that he was a fool—but I knew the truth. He did not lie to me. He told me all the truths of our relationship, laid out before me in a convenient line. He showed me what he had been trying to tell me, and it echoed painfully in my head. I could not be _him_. I could not be what _he_ could for her.

_How was it that she could forget and ignore all the things I'd done to her? _When I asked her that, a small sob broke forth from her throat and before I could stop her she was in my arms. I marveled at how she fit there and the perfect way that her head tucked under mine. Her tears wet my shirt and I held her as she begged me to forgive myself in the way that she had forgiven me. I told her how sorry I was that it made her suffer, and then she broke me.

_She told me that she regretted everything and that she wished she could take it all back._

Her words echoed in my brain, causing a dull sensation to creep through me. For a moment, I lost sense of time and space, and all I could feel was the way that my chest was constricting in the most painful of ways. She was reason for my existence, and she _regretted_ it.

I wanted to plead with her. I wanted to fight. But the part of me that had any will left to do so had just been kicked and crushed into oblivion by the beautiful girl in front of me.

I didn't resent her. _How could I? _She'd given me a second chance at life in a way that my turning had not, even for a short time. It was _me_ that ruined it when I'd walked away from her. She'd suffered too. I wished that I could take it all back as well.

The rational part of my mind that told me that I should question her statement shut down. If I had been at all intelligent I would have heard her words for what they were: an apology for the last few months of confusion. But I was too hurt, too afraid, too broken to let her words fix me, so I did the only thing a man can do when faced with the painful truth of his own ending. I ran from it.

And I drove, leaving her yet again. This time, however, I was not protecting her. I was protecting myself.

I rushed out of the house so fast that my family had no time to question anything. They tried. I heard their fleeting thoughts of confusion and worry and even anger.

_Edward, please wait! That's not what she meant. I've seen it._

_Dude—brother—come back! What's going on?_

_What has that little bitch done to you now?_

For a moment, I saw red at Rosalie's voice in my head. She had no right to call my Bella by that name. I almost turned around to tell her what I thought of her, but was stopped when I remembered that Bella was still there. I could not see her. I needed time.

So I hopped into the Volvo and sped away as fast as it would take me. I pushed the limits of what it could do, zero to sixty in six seconds. I left Forks behind me, going until I felt the ache of leaving the very best thing for me over the ache of her loving someone else. _Eighty. Ninety-eight. One-eleven. One-forty-five._ I ran away from all that I loved as the machine hummed beneath me, like my own personal chariot of fire, bringing on my Armageddon. I let it lead me away from her, and I suffered for it.

It was then that I realized, _again_, that I could never tear myself away from her. The ache in my chest, that hole that could not be filled but for by her, was growing increasingly larger the further the distance I put between us. Where before all I wanted was to run _away from_, now all I wanted was to run _towards_.

I couldn't _be_ without her. I'd take anything she'd willingly give me, be that love or friendship. Hell, I'd even accept it if she'd let me do nothing more than watch her from a distance. I sounded pathetic even to myself, but it was true. Like a beggar in the cold, I'd sit by her and bask in her warmth silently.

All I wanted was to be near her, because her very presence calmed me and made me whole again. More than the reminder that Jacob was in her life, the distance that I'd been traveling from her made me suffer. All I could think of was seeing her again. I needed to go home, because that's what she was to me.

Quickly, I shifted the car and spun around in a feat that should never be done by anyone but a stunt driver, eager to get back to her. I'd likely hurt her by leaving, and I wanted to remedy it as soon as possible. I made a plan to ease whatever suffering I'd caused. It was not what I wanted, but it would be what I'd take from her. I'd make memories with her while I still had the chance. I'd let her know that no matter what, I'd be there for her. And I'd do it now, before Jacob Black officially had any right to tell me to go away from her.

The landscape became more like home as I got closer. Less sunshine and more wet and mossy and comforting. I'd forever equate that with her. My oasis.

As I neared Forks, I pulled out my phone and dialed my mother.

"Edward," she said. The relief in her voice was not lost on me and for a moment I smiled. It was fleeting, however, as I remembered why she was so upset. "Are you coming home?"

She sounded worried again. I sighed and ran a hand through my disheveled hair.

"Yes, Esme. I am."

I heard her sigh in relief again. She didn't need to say the words to tell me that they had contemplated whether or not I was gone for good. It was foolish, though, because I could never leave her.

"Please tell me what's going on?" she pleaded with me. I wanted to tell her. Everything in me wanted to tell her how much I was suffering, and what I'd admitted to myself, but I could not will myself to say the words out loud, so I brushed her off.

"I can't. I just…can't." When she didn't answer, I continued. "I need you to do me a favor."

Then I asked her to take all of the others away. I needed to be with Bella, and only Bella. I needed to soak her up all alone, so that later, I'd have the memories of all these times together to keep me warm at night, when the rest of the world was caving in on me.

This is why I'd called Esme. She'd do this for me and she'd make the rest of them listen, and she wouldn't ask questions.

When I finally arrived home, she was there alone. I could feel her heartbeat miles away, like a beacon calling me home. It was like my lifeline, my trail of bread crumbs out of the darkness. I parked so quickly that human eyes wouldn't see me open the door and fly up the stairs. It washed all of the pain away. She was so beautiful. She was up in the room that we now shared, draped over the couch. I stood in the doorway and watched her paw through her book. Her hair was partially tucked behind her ear, but a few pieces would fall now and then and she'd brush them out of the way. She was tenderly biting her lip as she read, her brow scrunching up adorably as she absorbed the words written there. It was the copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ that I'd given her out of the library, a first edition that she'd found, and her face had lit up at the discovery. She was so lovely and I could watch her forever if she'd let me.

She finally noticed me, and it was as if all of the events of the afternoon slipped away. There was nothing but the two of us as I set her up to watch a movie with me and snuggle with her against the couch. It felt almost normal, as if we were just two people in love, and I pushed away the nagging voice that told me this was only a façade. I wanted to remember that night with her as if she _was _mine, not as if I was trying to pretend. Which of course I was.

I don't think either of us were actually watching the movie. She seemed lost in her own thoughts, and I was happy to memorize every little thing about her: the pattern that her goosebumps made on her skin when I dragged my fingers across it, or the tenor of her sighs that were both melodious and strained. When the light flickered over her, her hair would become alit with all the facets of color in it, reds and mahoganies and bronzes and blacks. I once again marveled in the way that she fit in my arms, the way she molded into me like she was made to be there.

After a while, she began to drift off to sleep. I felt her melt into me, relaxing in my arms as she sighed contently. I wanted to let her stay that way all night, but I knew that if she fell asleep that way that she would be stiff in the morning.

"Bedtime," I whispered gently in her ear. She startled, murmuring a contented 'no.' I tried to get her up, but she snuggled further into me and smiled.

As I watched her, I realized that all I needed was this. All I needed was for her to be content and at peace. I wanted her, of course, but if I knew that she was truly happy, I'd live with that. When I asked her, it seemed to startle her. She sat up quickly, and searched my face for the answers I hoped she could not truly see there. It hurt me to ask, but I could never live with her decision if I didn't know the answer.

"Does _he _make you happy?"

She hesitated to answer, clearly concerned about my feelings, but I begged her to tell me. I needed to know that if I couldn't, at least someone would.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance and thought over what she wanted to tell me. I waited for her immediate confirmation, but it didn't come. Instead, she explained how much he'd meant to her when I was away, and the way that he held her afloat when she felt like she was going to drown. He had done so much for her where I had failed. Where I had been the dark patch, he'd been her light. _Of course_ she loved him! He'd been the one to save her when I had left her broken. I thought about this, and I felt the familiar crushing in my chest. I tried to focus on what she was saying, but the pain was resonating loudly in my soul, the one that belonged to her.

I heard her sigh, and refocused my attention on her.

"There's a lot of pressure between Jake and I now that never existed before, and I hate it, because it used to be easy. He's my friend, but it's so complicated. Now I just find myself overly tense in his presence, completely unsure. And I did that. It's my fault."

I nodded. I was doing it again, causing her grief. I was standing in the way of the way it was "supposed to be" for her. I hated it, and I hated myself for it. I knew I could make it right for her.

"Do you think if the pressure was gone, you'd love him more?" I asked. I waited for the answer that would confirm everything. She watched me suspiciously for a moment before she spoke, telling me that she'd feel about him the way she was _meant_ to. I felt the pain shoot through me again.

I closed my eyes and breathed as steadily as I could. She'd told me what I needed to hear, given me the confirmation that I needed. It killed me to give her up, to push her into his arms, but I couldn't watch her suffer anymore. I realized how much pressure I was putting on her.

I'd made so many mistakes with her. I'd allowed her to get too close. I'd put her in danger, and then I'd left her to fend for herself. I'd tried to correct things only to break her more. Every step I took was the wrong one, and all I wanted to do was make her whole. I loved her with every fiber in my being. At that moment I saw the truth to the fact that if you loved something, you had to let it go. I wanted her to be free. I wanted her to be happy.

I whisked her upstairs without another word. I tucked her in, relishing the way that she felt in my arms, the way her heartbeat reverberated in my empty chest.

I formulated a plan. As much as I wanted her, I wanted her to be happy. I told her that we were set to go hunting the next day, and that we'd be gone. I shivered at the thought of leaving her for an extended period of time. I crumpled into myself at the plan I'd made, and the inner demon inside me cursed me and try to claw his way out. I pushed him down, knowing that the only way that I could heal her now would be to give her the salve that she needed, and take away the conflict in her soul.

She begged me to stay, but I told her that I had to go. I promised that I would return, and that seemed to appease her. She settled in and questioned my whereabouts, to the point of shocking me with her knowledge of where I was going. She seemed only a bit worried, trusting enough not to stop me. _She trusted me not to hurt the one she loved._ The thought burned in my mind and caused me to stagger, nearly consuming me. I wished it was me that could make her full and happy.

I bent down to kiss her forehead, just to feel her soft skin on my lips and taste her, and she tilted her head up to mine, catching my lips with hers. It surprised me, and slowly she moved her lips with mine. It was so sensual I lost myself in her for a moment. When we parted, I felt a little piece of me die off. Would this be the last time I felt her lips on mine and tasted her breath on my tongue? I felt my cold, dead tear ducks pinch and I turned away from her, masking my heartbreak with reproach.

I bid her goodnight and left her. Slowly I descended the stairs. Tonight, I was like a man on death row. I had had my final meal, and said my final grace, and I would walk into a room alone, and leave it all alone. My sanctification was in the woman sleeping soundly upstairs, and the knowledge that my final act would be one of benevolence and love. I would give up everything for her, the one who made me whole.

I flipped open my cell phone and dialed the number that I had stolen from her phone while she changed earlier. It only rang twice.

"Jacob, I need to speak with you…"

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**End Notes:** Aren't I terrible? =) I am so sorry to leave you hanging there, but I promise to have the next installment up tomorrow. This next one will be the last outtake before Best Laid Plans is finished, but I have another one in-store for you as a bonus once I've posted the epilogue.

Now, I have another little treat for you. I have written a very zesty little lemon for the Perv Pack's "An Officer and a Gentleman" contest.

Here is the link to their contest: http://www (DOT) fanfiction (DOT) net/u/2165797/

It was something I've had in my head for such a long time, and it fell into the contest SO well. It's called "In the Name of the Law," and you can find it under my stories on my profile page. Voting begins January 11, and you can do that right on their page. If you like it, please remember to vote for me. I am up against some pretty stiff competition so far, and I need all the help I can get!

I would love to hear what all of you have to say! Thanks for reading and I'll see you tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 16 Compliment: The Torch

**A/N: **This series takes place as part of my chapter fic, **Best Laid Plans**, as outtakes and extras for that. _The Torch _is the fourth, and is a compliment to **Chapter 16: Falling**. It follows immediately after _0 to _60. If you have not read chapter 16 of Best Laid Plans, I highly suggest you do that first. If you don't, it will not likely make a lot of sense. This is Edward's fateful meeting with Jacob.

Make sure to add it to your updates. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters from and references to _Twilight_ and the _Twilight Saga_ belong to Stephenie Meyer. No money is made from this writing, and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**The Torch**

I pulled into the parking lot at Forks High School. It had been months since I'd been here, and even longer ago that I'd last met Jacob Black here. We'd been enemies then too, fighting for the love of one woman. The memories that that meeting conjured in my mind—the ones he tried so hard to push on me that day, of when I had left her—made me ache almost as much as what I was about to do.

I sometimes envied those that could forget the most painful of memories, suppress them to the back of their subconscious and hide them away. I could never will mine away—all the terrible things I'd done, all the ways I'd hurt everyone around me, all the pain and suffering that had come from my hands. They would forever burn in me with perfect clarity. But I would never give them up if it meant giving up some of my most precious memories, the only ones that mattered to me at all—the ones of _Bella_.

Jacob was waiting for me when I pulled in, seated crookedly on his motorcycle, the same one he'd ridden the day we'd last met here. There was contempt in his thoughts, and my heart ached that tonight I would be giving him what he most desired…what _I_ most desired. I willed my feet to move as I stepped out of my car and towards the man that would take away my soul.

The lot was cast in the glows of the lampposts, but the darkness of the night settled on the meeting place like a shroud. That is what it was to me. I would never forget this night. Neither would he.

On the outside, he remained arrogant as he leaned against his bike, but the tenor of his thoughts indicated the truth—he was apprehensive about what I could possibly want and why I'd called him out so late to meet me, all alone.

_Alright bloodsucker. I'm here. Did you feel like starting round two, or something?_

His carefully planned greeting to me did little to hide how wary he actually was. It was a relief to me, that despite his poor attitude and disrespectful nature, he was actually just a boy. Deep down, in the most hidden of places, he was frightened. Not of me, per se, but of life. He held the deepest fears that men often held, ones of inadequacy and of the future. He burrowed them away so that he could be strong on the outside, but despite it all, he harbored these human thoughts. He was _human_. I was leaving her in his human hands.

"Jacob," I said in greeting, moving in towards him. He tensed as I got closer and I sighed. I knew I would have to work hard to level with him, but I didn't realize how difficult it would actually be. "Thank you for meeting me."

He eyed me skeptically and wondered to himself what game I was playing.

"I'm not playing games with you. I wanted to talk to you. Just talk." I put my hands up in surrender.

He snorted at my response to his private thoughts.

"You know how goddamn_ annoying_ that is? The least you could do is give a person the chance to talk to you before you respond to him," he spat. The tone of his voice was biting. I flinched at his statement. It was not often that I made my ability known to anyone besides my family. I'd hid it from humans my entire existence. I was too comfortable as a vampire in front of him.

"Sorry," I mumbled, distracted by this line of thought. He sighed and moved off his bike to meet me, confused by my remorse. He kept a healthy distance, and the posture of his body did not soften, but his curiosity got the better of him, and inwardly he gave in.

_Stupid, mindreading vampire_. "Okay, what do you want?"

I pulled myself out of my self-deprecating thoughts. This is why I'd come. He and I were enemies, for all intents and purposes—except one. Both our lives were focused on the act of keeping Bella safe, and keeping her happy. I planned to give him the chance to do both.

"I needed to talk to you about Bella."

"_Really_?" he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I thought we were going to crochet and drink tea. What _about_ Bella?"

I rolled my eyes at him in return. He was juvenile and I tried to remain as patient as possible with him. I understood. I _did_. He had every right to hate me, for what I had done to Bella. And for the fact that a small piece of her heart still belonged to me. He hated me, because a part of Bella loved me. It was for that same reason that I could never hate him, not entirely.

"You were right," I whispered. Admitting this to him was a bruise to my ego, no doubt, but the greater pain flamed from the truth of it. _He was right_. Bella loved him, and she'd put her happiness on the line for me. It was one of the hardest things I've had to admit, and it burned me to the core. The weight of those words hung in the air between us.

This took him off guard, and he shook his head as if he'd been hearing things. I watched as he staggered, just slightly.

"What?"

Rather than reiterate what I'd said, I explained the real purpose of my meeting with him. My collected and pragmatic side returned as I hid my pain from him.

"We are going away tomorrow. Hunting. Bella will be alone in the house all day and evening. She'll need some company."

He furrowed his brow and looked down at the ground, reasoning through what I'd just asked of him. I didn't have it in me to actually _ask_ him, begging for my own downfall. Fortunately, he picked up on it. His eyes shot up to meet mine.

"Are you asking _me_ to do that?" he asked incredulously.

There was that painful, suffocating weight lodged in my chest again. I took a deep breath and pushed it down, giving him no indication of its existence.

"Yes." I watched him carefully. The confusion remained etched on his face, but he nodded his head. Inside, he was elated at the chance to spend time alone with her, without _me_ around to ruin it for him, but he was unsure of my intentions. A hundred scenarios raced through his head. _I was leaving her again because I was frustrated. I was trying to trap him. There was someone else that now held my attention._ I snorted at that one.

After he had exhausted all the possibilities of it, _save one_, he met my gaze again.

"Okay, well, I'm not going to complain or anything, but what is with the change of heart?"

"She needs protection," I stated simply. "There's always a threat, and I won't be around. You are the one who should protect her."

He agreed inwardly, though he didn't say as much to me. He fully believed that he was the right one for the job, more so than me. As always, he contended that he was the one she should have _always_ been with, for both protection and love.

"Right, okay, well, that goes without saying, but I don't understand."

This was _the _question, the one that it tortured me to answer. I'd do anything for her, without question, but giving her over to him was against all my instincts of self-preservation. Doing so would likely be the end of me. He knew that. And he knew, at least in part, what I was doing when I asked him to come to her. I was giving her to him, even if for just a short time, and he didn't understand. He would never have done it himself.

"I cannot keep hurting her this way. We are hurting her by fighting."

My voice waivered with the truth of my words. _Again, I was hurting her._ He watched me tentatively as my carefully placed armor cracked slightly. Didn't he _see_ it? Didn't he understand what we were doing to her, pitting against each other? This wasn't a game. There were real stakes, and the pot that we would lose was the most valuable thing in the world. The thing I had _already _lost.

Jacob Black surprised me.

"Bella's stronger than you give her credit for, you know," he whispered into the darkness. _She's not some fragile little girl._

I snorted. I didn't see Bella that way. She was _never _a little girl to me. I teased her about it, of course, but it was not who she _was_. Bella was strong. She'd survived more than I could have. She would have healed. She'd made her choices and stood up for them, and I was awed by her whenever she opened her mouth. I knew that Bella was strong, and she put so much on the line for the ones that she loved. But I also knew that we were making it harder for her than it had to be.

"Oh, I'm aware. But she's suffering, being constantly torn between the two of us, and I can stop it. You aren't going to. I just want her to be happy."

He scoffed at me.

"I think you are stupid, you know."

"What?" I felt like my vampire senses were failing me, like I was losing my ability to hear and understand. He was telling me that he questioned my intelligence? Here I was, telling him that I was giving him the one thing that kept me standing, and he was telling me I was '_stupid?_' I took umbrage a little.

"You," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "You're stupid to just _let her go_."

I grit my teeth to keep my temper at bay.

"I'll never _'let her go.'_ I'm simply stepping back. I want her to be happy. I've just accepted that maybe it's not with me."

He laughed slightly, and moved in closer. His abrasive cockiness was back.

"Don't get me wrong, I _agree_, of course. But I still think you've got to be the dumbest guy I've ever met."

I crouched slightly. The egotistical beast inside me bristled again. I felt my body reacting to his statements, readying to coil and strike. I pushed it down. I did not need to fight with Jacob. It would not make her love him any less, or me any more. Whatever happened tonight would not stop her heart from what it wanted.

"Well, it's a good thing we're not here to talk about my intellect, isn't it?" I spat back at him.

"You'd never find me backing off so easily."

Something in me leapt to life at his words. I'd tried so hard to suppress it, to keep that side of myself away from him, both for Bella's sake and my own. But his words reopened the gaping hole in my chest. I was bleeding and dying from it, and I couldn't contain it any longer. I smothered sob broke forth through my lips before I could stop it, and my agony and anger mixed before the man-child who would take Bella from me. Who I was _giving_ Bella to.

"You think this is _easy_ for me?!" My voice rose and quivered and I stepped closer to him. He did not back down, but he watched me carefully. I fear and doubt and uncertainty that I had worked nearly a century to contain was coming unbridled, spilling out before him messily. "You think walking away from the _one_ thing that makes me whole is _easy?_! I am _nothing _without her! Coming to you is one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I _won't_ hurt her anymore. She doesn't deserve this. She deserves to be happy. This thing that we are doing right now? That's not it."

I truth of the words that I spoke once again crippled me. I hunched over and retreated into myself as I felt the devastating blow to my heart. I was nothing without her. Maybe Jacob was right. Maybe I _was_ stupid. His thoughts were scattered, unsure of what I had just let him witness, and for a fleeting moment he felt regret. He felt my pain, and acknowledged it honestly. He tried to reason what he would do if he were me. He quickly came to his conclusion: He _never_ would have given her up.

"Why?" he finally said. The word echoed in the still night air that had calmed around us after my outburst. I looked up to him in surprise.

"_Why?"_ I repeated, slightly irritated that he would make me say it. Had I not already explained that it was for her?

"Why are you doing it then? If she is that to you, why? I mean, how can you?"

I wanted to laugh at him, a sick maniacal laugh. I wanted to slap him upside the head for his delusions. He didn't see what it was doing to her, and a part of me wished that I could ignore it the way he seemed to be able to, simply pushing it aside and leaving it for tomorrow. But I had no more naïve hope that this would simply work out, because for one of us, it _wouldn't_. I straightened and looked him squarely in the eyes.

"Because I love her enough to know when I'm not good for her anymore. Sometimes, when you love something, you have to let it go."

He let me words sink in. In his head, he fought with himself. One side of him rejoiced in the knowledge that tomorrow she would finally be his and his alone. The other reprimanded him because he had not been able to do the same thing for her. He inwardly questioned his intentions and his love for her, while at the same time, embracing his newly acquired prize with reverent devotion. He understood the gift I was giving them both. The two parts of him tumbled and mixed until his eyes met mine again.

"She doesn't like people making her decisions for her. You of all people should know that by now."

I smiled sadly as the dull feeling in my chest resurfaced. He was right. If Bella knew I was there with him, giving him that speech, she would have given me an earful. She did not like it when the choices were made for her. It is why she hated surprises, the reason why she hated being the center of attention. Unfortunately for me, there was no longer a decision to be made. She'd done that long ago. Now, I was simply giving her the ability to embrace it. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.

"I'm not," I whispered as I felt the corners of my eyes prick uncomfortably for the tears that would never come. I'd tried all my human life to stop from crying, but now I wished for it. I wondered if it would ease any of the ache that I kept guarded in my soul. "Her decisions have already been made."

He didn't respond, but in his mind he staggered at my admission. I couldn't bear it anymore, and I gave him the last bit of information that he needed in order to take her from me.

"We're leaving late in the morning. Come by early evening."

I turned away from him and walked back to my car swiftly. With each step, I felt the hole in my ribcage widening further and further. I'd just done what was either the most magnanimous or the stupidest thing a man could ever do. Either way, it was the most terrifying and crippling. Tomorrow, I'd leave her, and when I came back, she'd belong to him, fully and solely. Irrevocably.

I raced home to watch her sleep for the last time.

.

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**End Notes (PLEASE READ ME!):** So there you go. That's how Jacob knew that the Cullens would be hunting, and how he came to find Bella alone. Edward's got a lot ghost's doesn't he?

I have a confession to make. I doubt that I will be able to get the next chapter of **Best Laid Plans **out to you guys by Sunday. I know—EPIC FAIL, especially since you've all been so patient to wait for me over the holidays. However, I want it to be perfect. Right now, I am working diligently to get it to that point. I want it to be a fantastic end to the story that you've all been so supportive of. It's the last official chapter before the epilogue.

In its place, I'm planning on posting a teaser for you on Sunday. I will put it up in replacement of the chapter, so you don't need to go anywhere special. It will be right on fanfiction (DOT) net. So don't get too excited when you see a new chapter up. It's just a teaser. Look for that this coming Sunday.

On another note, I might also post a teaser for my next fic "**Entwined." **I'm really looking forward to it!

And finally: I have written a fun and naughty little one-shot for the Perv Pack's "An Officer and a Gentleman" contest.

Here is the link to their contest: http://www (DOT) fanfiction (DOT) net/u/2165797/

It was something I've had planned for a long time, and it fell into the contest SO well. It's called "**In the Name of the Law**," and you can find it under my stories on my profile page. Voting begins January 11, and you can do that right on their profile page. If you like it, please remember to vote for me. I am up against some pretty stiff competition so far, and I need all the help I can get!

Thank you everyone for all your wonderful support!


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